Sunday, June 17, 2007

Jappier's Spoken English

In Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier, Chairman of Sathyabama Deemed University and some more self financing colleges, always speaks in English. The college students have collected & published a book by name "Jappier's Spoken English”

.... Njoy ...........with his..............English..............
Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great "Jappier's Spoken English"

# At the ground:

All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes here... {Means: girl with spectacles please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:

I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
# Once talking about his life history:
"I have two daughters, both are girls."

# While punishing students:

You, rotate the ground four times...
You, go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)

# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict about this)

Every body should wear dress to college
Boys no proplum
Girls are pig proplum .. (pig=big)
Girls should wear only salwar no nitee.
Girls should not wear T sirt ,U shirt,V shirt.. but if you want to wear .... remove it when inside the campus and put it out side the campus# Sir at his best:
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them. So the next day at school... (To that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"
# Sir at his best inside the Class room:

Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today.
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....
# Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences ...
Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached,the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I amlate, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).
At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:
"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "

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